small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Shame - the story of my life.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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