i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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