no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
