Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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