You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
soo... how was my night?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
