Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you never un-have a 4some
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
