just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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