too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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