I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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