the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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