Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
