I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
