SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
