this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
im holly from the hills drunk
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
