Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
