my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
