I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
