Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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