Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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