He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize