i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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