id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
