but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
