franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
