this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
