Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So much Jack, so little girl.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
