nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
