I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
