i don't like sucking hair
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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