So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He shit in the fireplace
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
