you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize