Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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