one might say we're banned from that church
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
