this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
