Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Every concussion has its silver lining
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
