I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize