Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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