So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
