Christians are straight up FREAKS
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
