she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
