I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Semen is not good for contacts.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
