Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize