But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize