this just has baby written all over it
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
