Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
