Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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