Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
