Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
