just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
