I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
