So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize