i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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