addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
