so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
