No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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