If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Randomize