you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
