Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
